I thought I'd write about love for a minute here as we start the new year. I've been thinking about it a lot lately after having read this article shared by a friend on FB. In its essence, this article is about love, not about religion or about sexual preference. At its core, it is about how giving love affects the other people in your life.
Expressions of love
There are so many ways to show love. The book, Five Languages of Love, talks about this idea. I didn't read the whole book, but the concept has stayed with me for years. When I think about relationships, it's not uncommon for me to think about the book's main idea. The concept is simple: people show love and recognize love in different ways. There are five main ways: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, giving and receiving gifts, and acts of service. Since showing love everyday is the single most important part of a good relationship, the goal is to understand what your languages of love are and find out what the other person's languages of love are, and then do or say those things in a language they understand so they know you love them. Sound simple?
Who needs love?
Showing love extends outside our romantic relationships to everyone we interact with, whether it be our family members, our friends, or our work relationships. We can easily forget that showing love is just as important to the stranger walking by us on the street; to those that think differently than we do, love different kinds of people than we would, or practice a different religion. We are connected to everyone in this world. Everything we do affects everyone else in our collective consciousness. As much as it seems like we are separate from the crazy homeless guy on the street or the evangelist on TV, we are really not. (Sorry if you are reading this and you are an evangelist on TV.) We are very much connected.
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| "To love and be loved is to feel the sun on both sides" - David Viscott |
How conscious are we in our interactions with other people, what vibes do you send out to others? When you walk by someone, do you look away? When in a conversation with someone are you listening to what they are saying...or are you thinking about what you are going to say next? The quality of our consciousness is the single most influential thing about us and the most important thing that impacts others. When we are conscious, the time we spend with people is tons more meaningful. Try it out. For example, see how much of a difference these things make in your daily life:
- When you walk by someone on the street and say hello, maybe ask them how they are doing
- Make eye contact and smile
- Listen to someone when they are saying something, and respond to it
- Ask your friend or family member how they are doing...then listen to their response
- Give someone a big giant hug (a little one is good too)
- Give someone a kiss
- Say "nice job" or "thank you so much", when deserved of course!
- Tell someone that you appreciate them and love them
Hugging Republicans and Democrats
There is entirely too much separation in this world - people are labeled based on their religion, their political affiliation, how they dress or look, the part of town they live in, even who they love. Why does any of that matter when we are talking about love? Does any of that make someone less deserving of love? Yeah, I don't think so. To show love...you surely don't have to be flagrant, you don't have to go around hugging people with opposing political views. There are many subtle ways to express love, ways that show you acknowledge the presence of the people around you. Even better, show them that they mean something to you. Be creative, use your favorite language of love, or use the list above as a starting point.
What vibes do you send out wherever you go? Are you satisfied with the quality of your consciousness? These are good questions to ask yourself, and there is no better time than now.
Happy 2012, everyone. Love you all.
